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May 21, 2014
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>> no, no, you go up there -- >> steve: you have one of those. >> jimmy: thank you, higgins. can i give you a butter milk or anything? >> steve: you have a warm butter milk? do you have a warm butter milk? >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> i grab this? >> jimmy: yeah -- you can't put it back. >> steve: then you read it. and then you read it. >> i can't read. >> jimmy: can't read it, you have charades. but you can say -- >> do i put it in here? >> jimmy: you can say what subject. >> steve: like it's a movie or tv show or something. >> tv show. >> for gorgeousness, apparently. >> steve: three words, first word. cut, fall, dead, death, death, death, sad, kill, punch. murder, murderer. murder. "murder she wrote." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] yeah. boom. angela lansbury. because we buried you. >> jimmy: that's enough. you got the clue. >> steve: you're dead. give it up. give up. >> jimmy: no more trivia about it. >> all right, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you ready for this buddy? we're here. >> i'm getting ready. >> jimmy: we're here, buddy. we can do this. what nombre? >> jimmy: six. >> stev
>> no, no, you go up there -- >> steve: you have one of those. >> jimmy: thank you, higgins. can i give you a butter milk or anything? >> steve: you have a warm butter milk? do you have a warm butter milk? >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> i grab this? >> jimmy: yeah -- you can't put it back. >> steve: then you read it. and then you read it. >> i can't read. >> jimmy: can't read it, you have charades. but you can say -- >> do i put...
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May 15, 2014
05/14
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steve higgins, best in the business right there. best in the business. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: right back at you. >> jimmy: this is pretty crazy here. i just saw a new interview. pope francis -- i love that pope. everyone like this is pope. anyways this is an odd thing. he said he would baptize aliens if they asked him to. then his friends said, okay, that's enough communion wine for you, mister. [ laughter ] "you're my best friend., you're my best -- am a pretty pope? [ laughter ] am i a pretty pope?" you've had too much. please just go back. but this is a pretty big deal here. a federal judge ruled yesterday that idaho's ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional. so it is now legal for gay couples to get married. [ cheers and applause ] idaho's gay people all cheered from their homes in san francisco and new york. they moved out of after high school. [ laughter ] they're very happy. listen to this. a court in indiana will decide if police can arrest someone for being annoying when they're drunk. [ laughter ] the nam
steve higgins, best in the business right there. best in the business. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: right back at you. >> jimmy: this is pretty crazy here. i just saw a new interview. pope francis -- i love that pope. everyone like this is pope. anyways this is an odd thing. he said he would baptize aliens if they asked him to. then his friends said, okay, that's enough communion wine for you, mister. [ laughter ] "you're my best friend., you're my best -- am a pretty...
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May 17, 2014
05/14
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steve higgins, a very talented man. [ cheers and applause ] a man of a thousand voices. listen to this guy. the fcc just rolled out a new service -- i don't know if this is going to work, that let's people text 911 for help. [ light laughter ] because if there is anything people do well under pressure is texting. [ laughter ] there's a rubbery at my horse? [ laughter ] rubbery at my horse? that's right, people will be able to text 911. that way if you're driving and you see an accident you can cause another accident. [ laughter ] tweet. tweet me, tweet me. [ laughter ] this isn't good. the stadium that will host the opening match of the world cup still isn't ready yet. because there are problems with 20,000 seats. when asked what's wrong with the seats, officials said, "theres no stadium built around them." [ laughter ] the seats are fine. just nothing around them at all. i saw that new york mayor bill de blasio has declared today "barbara walter's day" in honor of her last day on "the view." [ audience aws ] while -- she's great. [ applause ] good for her. while whooppy
steve higgins, a very talented man. [ cheers and applause ] a man of a thousand voices. listen to this guy. the fcc just rolled out a new service -- i don't know if this is going to work, that let's people text 911 for help. [ light laughter ] because if there is anything people do well under pressure is texting. [ laughter ] there's a rubbery at my horse? [ laughter ] rubbery at my horse? that's right, people will be able to text 911. that way if you're driving and you see an accident you can...
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May 20, 2014
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higgins didn't you read this? >> steve: i didn't have time to read it. too bust beading. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh there we go. that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read" list. if you have a book that you think should be on our next "do not read" list i want to see it. send your titles to our blog at do not read at tonight show.com we'll be right back with liam neeson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ going to college is a big... commitment. so when you earn your bachelor's or master's degree... ...at devry university or its keller graduate school of management, we promise you... ...care and attention, an education that helps prepare you for a real career... ...and now, the devry university fixed tuition promise. lock-in your tuition rate through graduation. even if tuition increases year-to-year... ...your rate stays the same. that's our promise. and the kind of commitment, ...your commitment deserves, classes start july 7. learn more at devry.edu. you may be muddling through allergies. don't get caught off guard. try new zyrtec® di
higgins didn't you read this? >> steve: i didn't have time to read it. too bust beading. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh there we go. that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read" list. if you have a book that you think should be on our next "do not read" list i want to see it. send your titles to our blog at do not read at tonight show.com we'll be right back with liam neeson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ going to college is a big... commitment....
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May 22, 2014
05/14
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higgins, you want to get us started? >> steve: all right. gentlemen, ready? >> ready! >> steve: set. go! >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey old man. [ laughter ] >> oh, no! no! oh! yeah! scoreboard! yeah! ha! >> jimmy: ah! [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hugh jackman right there! "x-men: days of future past" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with jimmy page. ♪ ifyou may be muddlingble withrough allergies.nger... try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin. because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. zyrtec®. muddle no more™. and applebee's new grilled vidalia onion sirloin with that fresh-from-the-farm, sweet vidalia onion taste takes you straight to your summer happy place. [ man ] whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ [ male announcer ] hey, it looks like someone ordered right. tangy barbecue sauce and sweet vidalia onions. in season now. taste of summer entrees now start at just $9.99. another fresh reason to see you tomorrow. at applebee's. and see you late night for half-pri
higgins, you want to get us started? >> steve: all right. gentlemen, ready? >> ready! >> steve: set. go! >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey old man. [ laughter ] >> oh, no! no! oh! yeah! scoreboard! yeah! ha! >> jimmy: ah! [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hugh jackman right there! "x-men: days of future past" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with jimmy page. ♪ ifyou may be muddlingble...
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May 2, 2014
05/14
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all right higgins -- >> steve: gentelmen, start your engines! on your mark. get set. go! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> whoa! no good! no! ♪ very bad -- what! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, you're right on my tail. oh -- ♪ >> jimmy: oh. gosh, i lost! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i got creamed. you and emma are not invited back. you and emma are not invited back. go see "amazing spiderman 2." don't miss andrew garfield on "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest, coldplay. mary lynn rajskub joins us after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ let mom shine. thirty percent off our best gifts for mom now through sunday. at zales. cheek or chin, we have one word. hallelujah. upgrade to the gillette fusion proglide. our best shave for about a dollar a week. gillette -- the best a man can get. our best shave for about a dollar a week. there werand i mean lean as it was a an understatement. but, we knew that if we stayed determined and if we could find the right tools, we're going to be a happy family, we'll be ok. with ameri
all right higgins -- >> steve: gentelmen, start your engines! on your mark. get set. go! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> whoa! no good! no! ♪ very bad -- what! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, you're right on my tail. oh -- ♪ >> jimmy: oh. gosh, i lost! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i got creamed. you and emma are not invited back. you and emma are not invited back. go see "amazing spiderman 2." don't miss andrew garfield on "saturday night live"...
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May 16, 2014
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have you heard about this, higgins? >> steve: heard about it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you heard about this old mice/young mice thing? >> steve: heard about it? [ laughter ] i love it! >> jimmy: yeah. all right, good. very good. thank you, higgins. [ cheers and applause ] andy sampton, everybody. andy stampton right there. famous actor. [ applause ] we love andy samberg. and this is just weird. during a meeting of the house judiciary committee, a florida congressman, joe garcia, was caught on cspan's cameras picking his ear. he's the guy on the right. watch what he does next. >> thank you, mr. chairman. i want to thank you and ranking members of congress for willingness to work to make progress on this issue. any of the book -- [ audience ohs ] >>teve: whoa! ew! ew! >> jimmy: wax on, wax ew. ew! >> ew! >> jimmy: that's so gross. [ laughter ] and finally, some more political news. yesterday, chris christie said that he thinks it would be fun to run against jeb bush for the republican presidential nomination. while jeb bush said it w
have you heard about this, higgins? >> steve: heard about it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you heard about this old mice/young mice thing? >> steve: heard about it? [ laughter ] i love it! >> jimmy: yeah. all right, good. very good. thank you, higgins. [ cheers and applause ] andy sampton, everybody. andy stampton right there. famous actor. [ applause ] we love andy samberg. and this is just weird. during a meeting of the house judiciary committee, a florida...
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May 13, 2014
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marty higgins, professional tool. [ laughter ] that's not -- that's not fair. >> steve: that's mean. >> jimmy: that's mean and cruel. >> steve: what do you do for a a living? >> jimmy: i'm a tool. [ laughter ] here is one from eric allen in lehigh, utah. he was listening to some music on his phone and he saw a guy on an album cover he said it looks like me. let's check it out. [ laughter ] tom rush. >> steve: wrong end of the rainbow. >> jimmy: what does that mean? is that bad luck? >> steve: yeah i guess so. >> jimmy: let me see if i look like this dude. i don't know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve: there we go. >> jimmy: over the rainbow you sick son of a -- that's the photo he chose for the album cover? >> steve: yeah, that's the one he wanted. >> jimmy: tom we need a photo. he had 600 photos not even look at the camera there. he looks like he's looking like fighting somebody in that one. [ laughter ] what are you looking at you sick son of a -- lplp next one's from michelle neighbors in canton, ohio. she was searching online for some hotels. let's see
marty higgins, professional tool. [ laughter ] that's not -- that's not fair. >> steve: that's mean. >> jimmy: that's mean and cruel. >> steve: what do you do for a a living? >> jimmy: i'm a tool. [ laughter ] here is one from eric allen in lehigh, utah. he was listening to some music on his phone and he saw a guy on an album cover he said it looks like me. let's check it out. [ laughter ] tom rush. >> steve: wrong end of the rainbow. >> jimmy: what does that...
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May 23, 2014
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you what i was wondering, higgins? and you guys, too. you ever wonder what celebrities are the whispering to each other when on the red carpet? >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: or at press conferences. well, we have too and that's why we sent our entertainment correspondent from the uk. mr. peggy hess with this highly sensitive microphone to get to the bottom of it. that's right, it's time for "celebrity whispers." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello. i'm peggy hess and welcome to "celebrity whispers." [ laughter ] shh! hey, arnold. take a photo. >> ah, yes. i want to take a look at me picture. >> you mean a selfie? >> no like this. a "look at me" picture. >> that's a selfie arnold. >> it's a selfie? >> yeah, it's a selfie. >> ah! "look at me" picture! celebrity. [ cameras flashing ] >> whoa, whoa! >> yes! yes! >> there we go, guys! >> hey! you're a wearing a me costume. >> what? no, you're wearing a me costume. this is my look. >> not-ah. >> yes-huh. >> whisper. [ cameras flashing ] >> oh, yeah. this is -- >> george, what are you thinking abou
you what i was wondering, higgins? and you guys, too. you ever wonder what celebrities are the whispering to each other when on the red carpet? >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: or at press conferences. well, we have too and that's why we sent our entertainment correspondent from the uk. mr. peggy hess with this highly sensitive microphone to get to the bottom of it. that's right, it's time for "celebrity whispers." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello. i'm peggy hess and...